Learning More About Our “High Needs” Baby

I have been babysitting/nannying since I was eleven years old.  I think I had a little bit of pride becoming a mother, thinking I would know how to handle anything pertaining to my child because I had all this “experience.”  Boy, was I humbled the day I met Hosea Jedidiah von Steinbergs.  I couldn’t understand why he would fuss so much, even when all his basic needs were met.  He screams if Jed or I set him down for even a second to get dressed, change a load of laundry, or go to the bathroom.  I thought it was absolutely crazy that he seemingly needed to be held ALL THE TIME!  Hosea’s desire and need to be held is a special one…most of the time he does not like to be held sitting down, but rather while we are bouncing, rocking, or walking him.  If we stay in the same position for too long (like 30 seconds), he does not whimper or even cry – HE SCREAMS…like we are ripping his arms off.  It has been a bit maddening, I must confess.  The Baby Bjorn and Ergo baby carriers are our best friends these days. 

About two weeks ago, I spoke to my friend, Whitney Gregory, from Seattle.  She has a little girl 8 months older than Hosea.  God has used Whitney in incredible ways to affirm Jed and me as parents.  When you have a baby, EVERYONE wants to give you their tips/home remedies/advice.  Sometimes it is helpful, but usually it isn’t.  What I love so much about Whitney is that she is such a learner and so well-read on parenting/the latest and greatest baby trends, etc. but she never pushes any one solution on you.  She never makes you feel judged or different because your baby walks/crawls/moves to the beat of a different drum.  Because of that, I love venting to her and hearing what she has to say.  Our conversations go something like this…”Whitney, I don’t get it.  Hosea has been…(followed by crying).”  Whitney listens, encourages, and reminds me that the hard things will pass and that Hosea is an amazing gift.  She shares bits and pieces of what she knows about the problem I’m describing or sometimes just says, “I’ll send you a link about that…it sounds like [whatever].”  After giving any tip/diagnosis/advice, she always says, “That may be what is going on with Hosea, but it might not be.”  (That is actually one of the most refreshing things she says).  She ends the conversation telling me I can call her anytime.

I have heard countless tips on how to soothe Hosea and how to get him to go down for a nap/bedtime without being held.  “Just let him cry it out,” is a common word of wisdom, which has never felt wise to me, but what do I know?  Last week, Jed and I read a link from Whitney…it was from Dr. Bill Sears’ website (I’m learning how much of a genius this man is via Whitney).  It describes “high needs babies” (often termed fussy babies) – Jed and I are learning to change our language because pretty much everything Dr. Sears says about these types of babies describes Hosea.  I truly believe God spoke to us through this article.  He said, “Bethany and Jed, I see you.  I see your son.  He is a perfect gift from Me.  I want you to embrace his unique personality and love him in the way he needs to be loved.  Let me fill you up.  Let me give you the strength you need to parent him.  Giving to this baby, meeting his needs…that is worship!  Don’t’ get distracted by what people around you are saying.  Keep your eyes fixed on ME!  I made you and I made your son.”  Thank you, God.  Thank you for using Whitney and speaking truth to us in our moments of need.  If you wanna check the article, feel free.  It will help you understand our son better.  J  http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050200.asp

Each day presents new challenges and joys.  The more we embrace Hosea’s personality, rather than fight it, the easier each day is…and the more fun we have.  Hosea is a strong little man, in body and personality.  He has been holding his neck up since he was born and can stand with minimal support (it is crazy, actually).  He is not a huge fan of tummy time or sitting in his Bumpo.  I think our little boy might just go from being held to walking.  Sitting and crawling don’t seem like his favorite things, however that might change tomorrow. 

Here are some pics (and one video) of our high needs little cutie-face

A warm, fall day in DC - after visiting Eastern Market

Snuggles and smiles with mommy

Sleeping in the carrier is the best

Friend, Whitney Thomas, gave Hosea this T-shirt - we miss you, Seattle friends!

My daddy is the best!

Look how long I am!

Almost captured Hosea's signature, the monkey face